Reflections from my 40th year
Another year older, wiser, and if I’m completely honest, a bit fatter.
Here are my reflections from my most recent year on earth, that I hope will make me a better person for the next one.
- Resilience is about people | I have endured overlapping challenges this year that I don’t care to repeat. I am certain that if not for a handful of incredible close friends, I would have had a full on mental breakdown, and fallen into depression. (Thank you, you know who you are). Not for the first time in my life I have been reminded that the quality social connections we foster are of the utmost importance to our safety, happiness, and success. For the next year, I will be applying this learning by deliberately tending to the relationships I am fortunate to enjoy with the good people who populate my life.
- You’re tougher than you think | As above, some of the challenges that presented themselves this year shook me in places I wasn’t ready for. When three foundation shaking shit storms, in three different areas of my life presented simultaneously, I came close to throwing in the towel. Fortunately I had learnt much from my deep dive into resilience a year earlier (30k word document on that freely linked below). The practice of those principles allowed me to weather those storms. Emerging (not entirely unscathed) and able to see a more positive path emerging from the chaos, I am pleasantly surprised not to be worse off emotionally than I am. I am also grateful for the inner strength built and confidence in my own resilience moving forwards.
- Purpose really is a well of strength | Victor Frankle wronged that ‘he who has a strong enough why can tolerate almost any what’. True words, to be sure. Maintaining a clear connection to the purpose behind all the hardship has served me very well. Facilitating strength when needed, and guiding hard choices. I will be endeavouring to keep my purposes front and centre for the coming year ahead.
- Less is very often better | We’ve all heard is said that less is more. It’s a strange mental gymnastics, I feel, somehow aimed at justifying ‘less’ as a tolerable strategy in the good name or ‘more’. But I really do not think this is just. Less is not more. But less might just be better. Less, but better, is an entirely justified, in many ways superior way of life than many forms of more could ever be. This will show up in my path next year in the shape of fewer, more disciplined and well thought through goals. My hope being that this manifests as less stress, distraction, cognitive load, and wasted efforts. Spreading myself thin is truly my Achilles heal. May I finally learn my lesson.
It is my hope that this reflection triggers your own reflective practice, and is maybe of direct value to someone out there. But my intention behind this post is mostly selfish. Hoping I can publicly state these things as a way of putting myself on the hook to live these lessons next year.
Comments very welcome.
